Udonis Haslem Tells A "Funny" Story About The Time Dwyane Wade Got His Chain Stolen

Stories like this are precisely why Udonis Haslem has been in the League for the exact same amount of time as Dwyane Wade. An all time, and I do mean ALL TIME, glue guy. UD is on the short list of guys you want in your corner if some shit was about to go down. Born in Miami, went to high school in Miami, somehow chose Florida over Miami for college, and then I assume he told David Stern he would only play for the Miami Heat once he entered his name in the draft. Because UD is Miami, and stories like this show exactly why.

He was asked to tell a funny, lighthearted, comical story about him and Wade, two guys who have spent thousands upon thousands of hours together over the last 15 years – on the road, in Miami, at practice, in the offseason, all of it – and the first thing that came to mind was the time Dwyane Wade unintentionally saved at least one person’s life simply by not giving UD the green light.

UD: We found your chain, would you like one of my associates to retrieve it for you?

Wade: Yes, that would be lovely.

UD: Alright, I must warn you before we proceed, we will get it back by any means necessary. It could get messy.

Wade: W-what?

UD: Any. Means. Necessary.

Wade: You know what? It’s cool. I got my car back. I’m Dwyane Wade, I can get a new chain. It’s fine. Everything is fine.

UD: Are you sure? We have the target in our sights and the building surrounded.

Wade: PULL YOUR MEN BACK, HASLEM!